Ziad Gadou

Edition XV

Sometimes - by Ziad Gadou (photo by Ismael Nieto)Photo credit: Ismael Nieto

Sometimes

By Ziad Gadou

Sometimes it’s best to keep it all inside
sometimes I dress you in ribbons and pretend that you care
sometimes
I digress
and sometimes I dare

Sometimes it’s easier done than said
sometimes it’s so much louder in my head
sometimes I love me instead
sometimes I don’t

Sometimes I speak and shed away the shame
sometimes I sell my own pride under a different name
sometimes I retrace the ashes back to the flame
sometimes I forget the targets and lose the aim

Sometimes I’m tired of trying the times I’ve tried to tie the lines in lies for crimes I’ve cried to hide in smiles of thriving piles of miles of tiles
sometimes I believe that all the trees will bend their knees to the willow tree
the will of me that sets me free but who’s to blame for history
This mystery
this test you see will break the keys
and when we bleed you speak to me – conceal defeat in this disease and tell me please what’s worse to see

sometimes I’d like to sleep without thinking that overdrinking was the price to pay
sometimes I put my hands together begin to pray so that someone in the attic can contain the pain and if someone in the attic can derail the stains maybe someone in the attic can choose to loosen the chains

Because sometimes it seems that all my mind conceives is means to flee
other times it dawns on me that all I needed to see was belief in me
So believe in me
let there be Relief in me
All I ever needed was for me to see
the fear in me
was defeat in me
All I ever needed was for me to see that the dream in me still dares to breathe

All I ever wanted was for you to see
that to heal this fiend
was to hear this fiend

And to peel this fiend
was to feed this fiend

And to feel this fiend
was to seal this fiend

But to deal this fiend
and defeat this fiend?

Just press where it bleeds
and the wounds’ uncleaned
and stomp both feet
on the deeds unredeemed

If you can barely breathe
and you’re cold hearted
carry pieces of deceit in all your necklace lockets
Hang them on your bruises and your translucent loose nooses
next to every loser’s lucid lethargically driven “do this”

So if you can relate
and you’re battling your self-hate
start a letter
and let it read “dear departed,
Tell your hatred
that this conceited young man
is out to get you
and is just getting started”


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