Razan El Zubair

Edition XXVII

Not Yours and Not Mine - by Razan El Zubair (Photo by Jamal Saleh)Photo credit: Jamal Saleh 

Not Yours and Not Mine

By Razan El Zubair

I keep forgetting
I am not yours and you are not mine.

I keep thinking
this has to be it,
this has to be what fairy tales tell,
this has to be a silver screen feature.

But surely I have to be mistaken
for I keep finding myself saying
I am not yours and you are not mine.

Why then…

why do your tears fall to rest on my palms
why does comfort lie between my lips
between my arms
with your head over my chest?

Mimicking the winds and time passing through ruins
you leave me with jagged edges every time.
With every I miss you. With every I need you.
With every smile from across a crowded table.
I have to remind myself
I am not yours and you are not mine.

So I try not to love you,
but without a thought you say let’s go home.
And a look on your face tells me
home has to be somewhere in the distance between you and me
for we have no home to call ours
yet at a doorstep you want to leave me
but still stay with a hand holding mine;

A game for fools you play with my mind
and as you stand in front of me
while you take a love tailored only for you
I whisper to myself

I am not yours and you are not mine.


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